Good Relationships Gone Bad
A total and irretrievable relationship breakdown for couples, however, can act like a hurricane sweeping through your life. It can knock you off your feet, leave a trail of devastation in its wake and find you having to rebuild the pieces of your life in the eerie calm that follows.
Whatever the reason the relationship has gone bad – and no two couples’ breakdowns will ever be the result of the same circumstances – the difficulties it causes need to be dealt with.
At a time when you may be experiencing some of the most raw and painful emotions you’ve ever had to cope with, there are practical problems that will also have to be sorted out. There is the financial situation you are facing, which may be radically altered, the welfare of the children and their custody and you may have to sell your home.
This is not a good time to ‘go it alone’. Get emotional and practical support from whoever you can. Friends, family, counsellors, advisors – use any or all of them to guide you. Nowadays it is much more widely understood that people need advice to manage the process of family change, so don’t be afraid to look for it.
Even if the relationship ended badly with a great deal of hostility, there are forms of mediation which may help.
- It’s OK to be angry with the other person when you split, so long as it’s just a phase and doesn’t become who you are for the rest of your life.
- Be careful not to use your friends and mates to go on and on continuously about the other person. They will get fed up and walk away just when you most need their support – and it will drag you down too
Where to go for Help
Traditionally seens as an organisation dealing with the problems of adult couples, Relate also offers family counselling.
0300 100 1234 (standard rate)
Monday-Thursday 8am to 10pm
Friday 8am to 6pm
Saturday 9am to 5pm
Citizens Advice Bureaux
CAB can help with information on all types of subjects following a relationship breakdown, including benefits and housing.
Look in your local phone book or search online for a local advice centre.